Safer Shabbat Resource Guide

The links below provide prayers, education, resources and support to increase awareness, expand understanding and ensure a culturally sensitive, coordinated response to abuse in Jewish homes and families. These resources can be used by Rabbis or program planners to customize as they consider their service and their programs throughout Shabbat.  If you would like to include a speaker as a part of the Shabbat experience, please contact Elizabeth Ury.

Materials for incorporating into the Shabbat Service, Kiddush and Sermon

• Prayers and Healing Music
• Discussion questions which can be used for the Kiddush and Shabbat tables
• Building upon Jewish values
• Amnon and Tamar-A Disappearing Victim

Child Abuse Prevention, Awareness and Support Materials
Child abuse is harm or mistreatment of a child under 18 by any adult who is in the caregiving role for that child.​

• Keeping Children Safe
• Documentary “ATHLETE A” and self-facilitated discussion questions to be used either for groups or classes within the synagogue or for families outside of the synagogue.
  • ATHLETE A (found on Netflix) helps us better understand grooming and predatory behavior. This documentary highlights how a sexual predator, like Larry Nassar, was able to gain trust and an emotional connection with children and young women to manipulate and exploit them, without parents and employees raising concerns about his relationship with the gymnasts. Athlete A, on a national level, is an example of the importance of awareness within our own synagogues, schools, and communities.
  • ATHLETE A  Discussion Guide

Elder Abuse Prevention and Awareness Materials
Elder abuse is a term referring to any knowing, intentional, or negligent act by a caregiver or any other person that causes harm or a serious risk of harm to a vulnerable adult.

• Elder Self-Neglect handout
• Types of Elder Abuse examples
• Text study on Mistreatment of Elders

Teen Violence Prevention, Awareness and Support Materials
Teen violence refers to harmful behaviors, whether physical or emotional, which affect young people. The young person can be an offender, a victim or a witness.

• Teen dating violence information and resources
• Programs offered to continue the conversation:
  • Clothesline Project- A visual, interactive presentation honoring survivors and remembering those who have died as a result of domestic and sexual violence.
  • In Their Shoes^® - A classroom program designed for experiential learning about teen dating violence. Participants become one of six characters based on the experiences of real teens including sexting, pregnancy, homophobia, and stalking. They make choices about their relationship and move through the scenario by reading about interactions with their dating partner, family, friends, counselors, police, and others. JCFS is a certified facilitator.

Domestic Violence Prevention, Awareness and Support Materials  
Domestic abuse is a systematic pattern of power and control for the sole purpose of manipulating a partner in an intimate relationship. It can take many forms: physical, verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual, financial and sexual.

• A Yom Kippur meditation for Domestic Violence survivors
• Display a SHALVA lawn sign in front of your building for Domestic Violence Awareness Month. SHALVA staff and volunteers are available to deliver these lawn signs to your location. Please email Anita Pildes at apildes@shalvacares.org, and we will deliver to your address.
• Healthy relationship guidelines handout
• Finding the right words handout
• Guidelines for intervention handout
• If someone...suggestive responses handout
• What kind of relationship is it?

Safer Shabbat celebrates the strength within abuse survivors of all ages and circumstances and brings the community together to acknowledge the hardship and inspire empowerment.

Your synagogue is encouraged to create your own Safer Shabbat by utilizing our resources below and/or bringing in your own. Creating a safe and sacred community is an expression of our Jewish values.  

רפואת הנפש, רפואת הגוף / Refu’at ha-nefesh, refu’at ha-guf / healing for the spirit, healing for the body (the Mi She-berach prayer) is one example of how a universal prayer can have new meaning to encompass and support survivors on their healing journey. We encourage you to incorporate others. Suggestions are on our resource page.

The resource page provided here is created for the purpose of offering ideas and resources to be utilized during Safer Shabbat. We have included language and prayers focused on abuse prevention and survivor support. We have also provided handouts and additional educational material for you to share with congregants via your newsletters and/or website to enhance their own Shabbat table discussions and beyond.

Continuing the conversation at home, in school or in synagogue throughout the year reinforces the importance of abuse prevention.

Planning to observe Safer Shabbat?  Let us know!  

For more information and/or assistance in planning Safer Shabbat in your congregation, please contact Elizabeth Ury, Director of Jewish Community Engagement.

Our partners, SHALVA, CJE SeniorLife and JCFS Response for Teens, have contributed to the information covering the lifespan of abuse.

Sample Safer Shabbat Schedule

• Friday Night Service:
  • Rabbi or other invited speaker speaks on abuse throughout the lifecycle
• Shabbat Dinner:
  • During dinner initiate conversation with kids using Keeping Children Safe handout. 
• Shabbat Morning:
  • Rabbi/Cantor includes various prayers in the service to provide healing for those who have or are currently experiencing abuse
• Shabbat Drasha/sermon:
  • Rabbi or other invited speaker discusses account of Amnon and Tamar and/or speaks about abuse in the Jewish community
• Shabbat Kiddush:
  • Congregants discuss the discussion questions scattered on various tables
• Shabbat Lunch:
  • Continue family conversations about healthy relationships
• Motzei Shabbat/Saturday Night:
  • Watch documentary “Athelete A” on Netflix and use provided discussion guide

​​​​​​The experience of grieving always feels like visiting a foreign place, feeling disoriented and isolated in the new reality of life without the person we loved. COVID-19 has increased our isolation as it keeps us from grieving in community.

Healing During the Seasons - Spring 2021

Grieving a Death During a Pandemic, December 2020 Workshop

Grieving a Death During a Pandemic: An Evening of Support

Grieving During A Pandemic, Dec 2020

Bauer Conferences In-Person

Navigating the Wilderness of Loss, June 2018

Grief & The Family, June 2017

The 3rd Annual Conference on Help, Healing and Hope after Loss, December 2015