Response for Teens
5140 Golf Road
Skokie, IL 60077

Hours

Monday 10AM–9PM
Tuesday 10AM–6PM
Wednesday 10AM–9PM
Thursday 10AM–5PM
Friday 9AM–3PM
Saturday CLOSED
Sunday CLOSED

Summer Hours (beginning June 18)

Monday 10:15AM - 8PM
Tuesday 9AM - 6PM
Wednesday 10:15AM - 9PM
Thursday 9AM - 5PM
Friday 9AM - 3PM

Email

Counseling
ResponseCounseling@jcfs.org

Send a Message

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Common Questions about Relationships

How do I know if I’m ready for a relationship?

Every person is different, so there’s no “right” way to tell if you’re ready. But here are a few questions to ask yourself to help figure it out:

• Do I know what qualities I’d like in a partner?
• Am I ready to handle physical intimacy? Am I ready to set boundaries or say “no” if something doesn’t feel right?
• Does this feel right to me, or am I being pressured by friends or other influences?

Being ready to date may also depend on your family’s beliefs and rules, so find out what they think. If you are struggling to communicate with them, or you feel their ideas clash with yours, consider talking it out with a counselor at Response for Teens —either one-on-one or with family members.

How do I ask someone out?

Asking someone on a date can be nerve-wracking, so the first thing to do is to relax—do something that helps you feel calm. Next, remind yourself that you’re a good person, regardless of whether the answer is “yes” or “no.” Confidence is appealing to others, and it’ll help you bounce back if you get turned down. Finally, start a conversation. Ask your crush about themselves and what they like to do. Not only will this make things feel less awkward, but you might discover an activity or place you both enjoy that would make a great first date.

Love Is Respect has some more great tips on how to respectfully ask someone out.

How do I know if I’m in a healthy relationship?

Unhealthy or abusive behavior can happen to anyone—whether they’re in a long term relationship or just hooking up. Here are some questions to ask yourself if you are unsure about your relationship:

• Do you have problems communicating respectfully with your partner? Is there a lot of fighting? Do you feel like your thoughts or opinions don’t matter?
• Does your partner often tell you what you’re doing wrong (or that they do things better than you do)?
• Do you feel like you don’t have the independence you want? Does your partner try to control what you do or say, or try to keep you from seeing friends or family?

If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” it might be a good idea to talk to someone you trust about whether the relationship should continue. Above all, trust your gut—if it doesn’t feel right or good, the relationship might not be right for you.

Online Relationship Tips

Here are a few guidelines for happy and healthy online relationships—whether they’re with people you know well or people you’ve never met face-to-face.

• Be yourself. The internet is full of people pretending to be someone else or behaving differently than they do in person. Don’t be one of them! Remember that who you really are should be enough for anyone—and if they don’t like it, move on.
• Be kind. It can be tempting to engage in online fights, especially if you’re posting anonymously. Take a breath and think before you post. A real person with real feelings is going to read what you write. And if someone is nasty to you online, take the high road and don’t respond. If the harassment keeps up, block the bully and talk to someone you trust about what’s going on.
• Consent is key. In all types of interactions with current or possible sex partners, all parties need to agree to the activities taking place. This includes online activities like requesting or receiving pictures. And even if you’ve consented to exchange photos or intimate messages, be careful what you share. There might be consequences later, especially if there’s a fight or a breakup.
• Set boundaries with strangers. When you’re online with someone you’ve never met in person, be cautious. Don’t exchange photos or messages of a sexual nature. Don’t give out your address, number, or other details that might help them track you down in person. And definitely don’t agree to meet face-to-face unless it’s in a very public place, you’ve told a friend or family member beforehand what you’re doing, and you take someone you trust with you.

More Information

Want more information on relationships? Response for Teens offers the following resources:

• Glossary: Look up more common terms related to relationships and sex.
• Helpful Links: Links to other sites and organizations that provide information about relationships, dating violence prevention, online dating, and more.
• Sexual Health Initiatives: Pregnancy testing, options counseling and sexual health questions

Common Questions about Emotional Health

What is “emotional health?”

Emotional health is closely associated with wellbeing: living a life that is happy, healthy, and content. But emotional health isn’t about being happy all the time. It can also be about examining and constructively dealing with uncomfortable feelings, instead of blocking them out or reacting to them in an unhealthy way.

While the terms mental health and emotional health can sometimes be used to mean the same thing, we like to use the term emotional health at Response for Teens. Mental health bothers some people because of the way that mental health issues are negatively portrayed in the media.

If so, you may be experiencing depression or anxiety. While it’s true that everyone goes through tough times, if your feelings are interfering with your life as you know it, it’s important that you talk to someone about it.

How do I know if I have an emotional health problem?

Are you:

• Finding it hard to enjoy doing things you have previously enjoyed?
• Having difficulty finding the energy or enthusiasm to go to school, hang out with friends, or go to work?
• Fighting a lot with family or friends, or pulling away from them?
• Sleeping or eating too much or too little?
• Feeling hopeless, like nothing really matters?
• Having worries or upsetting thoughts you can’t get out of your head?

If your feelings are causing you to think about harming yourself or others, it’s important that you seek immediate help. Call 911 or take yourself to the nearest hospital. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800.273.8255.

Facts and Myths about Emotional Health

Myth: Emotional health problems only affect adults. Children, teens and young adults have emotional health issues, too. In fact, three out of four people with emotional health problems show signs before they are 24 years old.

Myth: It’s all in your head. If you have emotional health issues, you may hear people saying “This will pass,” “Cheer up,” or even “Snap out of it!” But these problems are not temporary, and they have nothing to do with being weak or flawed. Many factors play a part, including genetics, serious illness or brain injury, or traumatic experiences. The truth is that you can feel better—but not because it will eventually “blow over” or because you “try harder.” You need help and support to improve your emotional health.

Myth: Emotional health problems are embarrassing and shameful. People with emotional health issues are often stigmatized and inaccurately portrayed in movies, TV, books, or news. This can lead to fear of judgment and avoidance. But people who have emotional health issues are not “crazy” or any of the other slurs that get attached to these types of problems.

Fact: You are not alone! Lots of people have been where you are, or are there right now. According to Youth.gov, one in every four or five youths meets criteria for some kind of lifetime emotional health issue. And although you may be feeling isolated, there are plenty of people available to help you—you just need to be brave and reach out.

Getting Help

Talk to someone. The first step in taking care of emotional health issues is to talk to someone you feel safe with, like a counselor at school, a parent, or another adult in your life whom you trust. Tell that person what you’re experiencing, and talk about ways to get further help.

Don’t fear the couch. Worried or ashamed about talking to a counselor? Don’t be! A good counselor will build a trusting relationship with you over a period of time. They absolutely respect your privacy, and will not judge, criticize or shame you. Counselors can help you sort through difficult issues and can help set you on a journey to becoming a healthier, happier you.

Want to learn more about our counseling services? Call Response for Teens at 847-676-0078 or send an email to ResponseCounseling@jcfs.org.